Green Fairy Armadillo

This morning, my cat discovered the best way to make me wash my sheets frequently. She did this by throwing up on them.

Reading the description on the back of a Monster always cracks me up. They've got a tea version of the Java Monsters now, and on the back they go on about how it's so hardcore, "Not the tea the Queen has with her crumpets or the tea little girls share with make-believe friends."

They go on to compare it to Turkish prison tea (They probably mean Russian prison tea- for the record, this is made by boiling tea for like an hour with a ton of sugar and adding god knows what "spices" to it. Very strong, rather terrifying. It's said to sometimes produce hallucinations.)

However, when you actually go to drink it, it tastes just like the last Chai latte you had at Starbucks. Extremely mild, sweet, and creamy. Any actual tea is much stronger. The Queen probably takes her tea stronger with her crumpets.